Painting is a blind man's profession

I know I owe you....me, a continuation of my last post, but I have something else I'm excited to tell you...me, about!

O.K., so I graduated from the University of Kansas with a Bachelor's of Fine Arts about 15 years ago. Previous to my art training, I had been drawing & in the arts - ever since I can remember really. But, since I had finished my degree, it has been a struggle to get back into "real" art. I say "real" art, because I do do graphic design, but got into it only to have a "real" career. My true roots are your basic pencil & paper!

Anyway, so I don't want to get into "why" it's been so difficult to get back to it. That subject deserves a whole 'nother post if not book! Art school basically f*cked it up for me. It really did. And I still find it extremely challenging to do it.

BUT, finally, I've had a drive, which I think most artists have, to just DRAW or paint. It may sound corny, but it's almost like I feel like "God's Instrument" or something like that. I know, so cheesy. But for real! I feel like a power beyond me needs to channel it's energy through me onto canvas, paper, the floor, whatever. It's what makes us (art people) crazy. At least partially.

So, a couple of weeks ago, instead of making a big to do about it, I just got my sketchbook, a mirror, dug up some old charcoal & went for it. The result was this:

I don't love it. I don't hate it. I'm just happy that I got started. FINALLY.

Now that I got started though, will I continue? I suppose only I can answer that. Only I can prove to myself that I will continue.

So, this past week, one of my goals was to do 1 drawing a day. The trouble is, which I remember having in the past, was WTF to draw?!? I am sorta snobby about drawing only from real life. So, real life objects, especially when you're a stay-at-home-mom, can be pretty boring. Except for yourself. Which is why I was and still am drawn to self-portraiture. I find artists' portraits fascinating.

In spite of the fact that I would like to do more self portraits, drawing one daily is not something I really want to do. So again, what to draw, what to draw...

Then a couple days back, again, without putting much thought into it, I picked up my sketchbook & pencil & began drawing a small statue of a mother & child sitting on the shelf next to me:

Again, I don't love it, I don't hate it. If one of my art instructors from college saw it, they would turn their nose up in disgust. "Boring" they would say. Too stiff with no expression. But, nevertheless, I worked past their voices in my head & finished it. One of my new rules, is to FINISH every drawing I start. Even if I don't like where it's going. (Something I also need to do here with all my unfinished posts!).

There. Another drawing down.

So now what. What to draw after the boring mother/child drawing. Again, stumped. Again, without thinking, I just picked up my sketchbook, this time with my 4 yr. old & her sketchbook, we proceeded to draw together. She drew a beautiful portrait of herself, while I drew a children's rocking chair that was sitting in front of me. BTW, when I say "beautiful", I truly mean it. Children's artwork is the purest form of art & I envy every child's ability to look beyond the actual picture & just create. Again, a subject for a whole 'nother post - or, with as wordy as I am, a book.

I decided to do a "blind contour". In art school, I did not know why the hell we did these. I found then to be tedious, meaningless & just plain annoying. Through the years, & I mean YEARS of school though, I understood why we did these seemingly pointless exercises. Because that's exactly what they are! Pointless exercises! Drawings that have no goal, that take the pressure off creating masterpieces, that have no end point except for exercising the process of "looking". Really looking at the subject. Studying every line, shadow, & curve without looking at your paper & having the pressure of creating gallery worthy art. An exercise for your eyes & brain to see & record what you see, rather than worry about what the drawing looks like. I could keep going, but then this WOULD turn into a book. Apparently the 3rd one I have started within these post.

I did 2:

(I apologize for my lame pix of my drawings. Sadly, I have yet to figure out why my scanner does not send pix to my computer.)


Then my mind took over & said: " now do a 'real drawing' of rocking chair". One that looks like it rather than a collection of random lines & curves with no rhyme or reason. So I did:

The blind contours, to me are far more interesting then the regular, boring old drawing of a rocking chair. (Where did I hear this before?) Although I did try to create movement with a variety of strokes, the blind contours are a dance of shapes & lines I find much more visually stimulating. I get it I get it. The evil art instructors, who would look at my self-portrait above, & say to me: " we don't want to see a pretty picture" (which is exactly what one of the instructors said to me about a self portrait much like the one above) got what they wanted. They molded, more like pounded my tender mind into believing that art is not "pretty pictures". It is expression, it is the ability to draw like a child. Who like I said, are the greatest artists.

I'm really getting off the subject here. I guess my writing is sort of like blind contouring in a sense. I just write what I'm thinking, feeling with no real end goal. Again, another tangent. Geezus I talk a lot.

THE POINT: My idea is is to do one blind-contour a day. Not 1 drawing a day, one blind-contour a day. Not only do the resulting drawings turn out more interesting, it is also way more feasible & doable. It is far too much pressure to do a "DRAWING drawing" a day. Plus, maybe when I am ready to actually do "real drawings", they will inherit the quality blind-contours present, then the regular, boring ole drawing like the mother and child one I did. That's one thing that I have strayed from when in school is drawing is reverting back to drawing mechanically & with less expression & movement like in high school. The blind contours I hope will bring me back to the level at which I became accustomed & quite frankly intimidated  & pressured by.

So that's it! One blind-contour a day. I'm thinking I should start a website/FB page for other artists that may be interested in this project. Some day. Enough on my plate right now:-)