We are taught, especially in America, more is better. Accomplish more, make more money, bigger house, more clothes, more activities, more excercise, more more more more. This philosophy has been good and bad for me - already an over-achiever by default (being Indian), it pushed me in my teens to excel in - EVERYTHING. In college, struggling w/my identity, my partying ways, emotions WHILE trying to succeed, resulted in over achieving in failing. Bouncing off several rock bottoms, playing "catch-up", I went full speed into throwing myself into my career (while weening myself off my previous career. Partying like a mad woman.), again, with lofty goals & killing myself trying to achieve them & succeeding somewhat.
After torturing myself either overachieving as a student, party monster, playing catch up, getting married, having kids, playing the role of super-wife, super-mom, super-daughter, super-person - I'm TIRED. Super duper tiiiiiiiiiiiirrrreeeed. Buuuurned out.
Anyway, back to last night, keeping up with my killing myself ways, I enrolled in a web design course at the University. Although it goes against trying to do less, I'm super psyched about it. But yesterday was CRAZY which is what led to the migraine. Both girls home, doing the usual mommy multitasking cooking, cleaning, dishes blah blah blah, refereeing - finishing homework, getting them ready in time for me to NOT. BE. LATE. Thought I was on the right track by leaving at a semi-decent time, on my way there, I not only missed my exit, I panicked & ended up in evening traffic on the....LAS VEGAS STRIP. Couple that with my laptop not connecting to the school network while the instructor was ankle deep in coding. Not a good start to class. But, I got through it.
I could feel the beginning of a headache on either side of the bridge of my nose while in class & didn't think it would get worse - until, I got home and the kids were LITERALLY - I mean literally (they have the gymnastics bug) bouncing off the walls, couches you name it. When Mommy's away, the kittens will play! On top of starving (trying to lose the holiday fluff), the budding headache was well on it's way to being woken up by a full-on migraine at 4am.
I have to have to HAVE TO sloooooooooowwwwwwww dooooooowwwwn dammit!!!! Seriously on my way to a stroke. I just know it. Too many headaches, too much stress.
How do I do this when I have SO MUCH I need to do, wanna do, & have no time for???!!! Good question! If you know, shoot me an email & let me know.
At least I work out. But some weeks are hard to get to the gym. The yoga definitely helps, but it's not often enough.
I'm learning to WRITE - I mean HANDwrite slower. I know that may sound strange, but my writing has morphed into "scribble scrabble" (our little people's language). It is actually much more relaxing.
I find having less STUFF is key in relaxing the mind. With the help of Fly Lady, I'm getting rid of 25 items a day.
Coloring is relaxing & one thing I love doing with the girls. I knew I should have pinned those Adult Coloring pages! Get your mind out of the gutter - not that kind of "Adult" - I guess I'm the one with my mind in the gutter.
Other than that, haven't figured out anything else as of yet. Obviously.
So, it should be interesting to see what happens as I have no control over it apparently. Kidding. Maybe expect less of myself daily?
I discovered an awesome quote
I've been mentally repeating this throughout the day since I found it. I realize my to do lists are unrealistic. I realize my expectations are unrealistic. I realize it intelligently, just not emotionally.
Speaking of expecting too much out of myself, I quit posting so much as result of my addiction to online gaming, Facehooking, & Pinterest this "over-achieving" crap. Feeling hesitant to post content that I have not proofread half a dozen times, being comprehensive while entertaining, ending eloquently, not too long, not too short...it's no wonder I hardly ever write any more.
Writing does relax me though. It's a way to process my thoughts, & throw them out. So, in light of trying to slow down & relax, I am going to TRY (now, don't hold me to it!) to write more. BUT, edit less. As a matter of fact, I'm not even going to READ this! O.k., maybe just once. (And I just did, edited just a little;-) It will have to do.)
Speaking of over-achieving, simplifying, expecting less
isn't "25" a bit much?
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