7 Weeks and 14 Pounds

I’m fat and I have a wedding to go to in 5 weeks. Ugh.

I was doing the WW thing IN PERSON till about a month ago…then my 10 weeks was up, and I had managed to lose a whopping 4 lbs. Because of the frustration and the embarrassment of not losing very much, coupled with the fact that I didn’t have a WHOLE lot to lose (15 lbs.) in the 1st place, I decided I’d go at it by myself. HA!

I think I might’ve gained the 4 back. I don’t know cuz I’m too scared to look!

My problem is that after losing a few lbs., I kind of lose motivation since #1, I DON’T have THAT much to lose, and #2, living in pajamas and rarely having to wear REAL clothes, I don’t really care. It’s not until I have that once a month occasion when we actually have somewhere to go, and I’m stuffing myself into my jeans and running out of options in the shirt department that I feel the effects of the Friday night Krispy Kreme run, or the Chinese take out 2 nights after that.

My lack of motivation is my primary issue.

But tonight amongst family and our Oscar party snacks, I got the surge of motivation I needed. As we’re trashing the Oscar fashion watching the Awards, Cameron Diaz floats on stage to present something or another. She didn’t look spectacular or anything. She had the “au natural” thing going for her, and she’s naturally gorgeous, so the fact that her roots are coming in and her dress was sort of blah didn’t really matter. The point here is that her arms: OMG. Talk about motivation for getting skinny! Her arms looked awesome. It made me sick = my motivation.

I have 5 weeks and 10 lbs. (I think – I don’t know cuz I don’t even know how much I weigh!) to go. I ordered a WW Food Journal on Ebay 2 weeks ago. The seller guy wrote me last week apologizing for Paypal’s mistake in notifying him late and in turn, for my order being delayed. Because of HIM and PAYPAL, my diet has been on hold. I mean, it has nothing to do with the fact that I have absolutely no self-discipline and just HAD to order a Strawberry Shortcake (my idea of diet dessert) at the Cheesecake Factory last week, or that I HAD to make my husband heart-shaped brownies and carrot cake for V-day, and HAD to keep him company by partaking in the festivities.

It’s not my fault I didn’t have the appropriate tools (the Food Journal) to keep me on my diet. I would’ve shown willpower and controlled myself in those moments of truth, but because of the Ebay guy, I couldn’t. (Don’t worry, I know this is a load of crap).

So, starting tomorrow, whether or not I get the Food Journal, it’s back on. Now all I need is a picture of Cameron Diaz’s arms to carry around with me so this surge of motivation lasts!

UPDATE AS OF TODAY February 25th:

1. Bad news: I DID gain the 4 lbs. back! I actually gained 5 lbs, so I’m actually 1 lb. more than when I started WW! Ugh.

2. Good news: The wedding is in almost 7 weeks, so I have almost 2 more weeks to lose the weight! I’m aiming for 2 lbs. a week. I’m going to do it. I’m going to stick to the 19 pts./daily. Haven’t decided if I’m going to use the nice 35 Flex Pts.( I always end up using the 1st day of the week). I’m going to see how it goes without giving myself the slack.

DAY ONE;

2:00 pm: I’m doing good so far today. Unfortunately, breakfast always gets me off to a rough start since the milk and cereal I HAVE to have (Fiber One Honey Clusters = my digestive cure that doesn’t taste like cardboard) is 5 pts.! And the 4 T. of Coffeemate I HAVE to use (should I have some coffee with my creamer), is 2 pts. So I’m already 7 pts. in. But I do the soup and veggies thing till dinner and then have a decent dinner with the fam.