Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions No One Means To Resolve To Do:

1. Eat bigger portions and snack more.

2. Join the gym, but only go once.

3. Gain 10 more lbs. on top of the 10 we resolved to lose.

4. Spend less time with family and friends and more time on the couch.

5. Spend more money, and save less.

6. Take up smoking.

7. Complain more.

8. Don’t try anything new.

9. Live every day like there’s always another.

10. Read less and watch more TV.