I am getting more and more ready to take the plunge.
Coming July, I think my husband and I are going to start trying to get pregnant…AGAIN. Call us crazy.
I heard that I would be ready to have another one within 6 months of having my 1st. Seriously?! I was still questioning whether or not I should have had any at that point! Just kidding of course – kind of.
Our 1st 5 months with our daughter was absolutely one of the most miraculous, yet difficult time in our lives. During those trying months, I came to the realization that our baby cried 90% of her waking hours. For us, and I'm sure many other parents, the crying was heart-breaking and pure torture. We tried EVERYthing under the sun in hopes of making her feel better and calming her down. Our desperation led me to Harvey Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block", the 5 S's (his technique of Swaddling, Swinging, "Shhh"ing, etc.) and down a long winding path of several frustrating months and using a myriad of unconventional tools including blow dryer and vacuum c.d.s, gripe water, and late nights sitting in the bathroom, rocking her under the roaring sound of the vent - which would eventually put her to sleep.
Along with postpartum depression, undiagnosed and untreated postpartum thyroiditis, and a horrific experience breastfeeding with thrush for 11 months (which I would love to and need to some day go into depth about), the 1st half of the 1st year...was hell.
Even after a year, my body was still nowhere near being back to normal.
Of course, everyone (my mom and by BFF), has been saying how I really need to get pregnant soon cuz of my age etc. etc. I've been telling them that I am just not ready. Not only am I scared to death of going through anything near what we did, I don't want to get pregnant just because I "really should".
I would even be happy to adopt and would actually welcome the opportunity. But from what I know, it's like $12,000.
Plus, the absolute miracle that she was once inside me, that she it was her little bottom sticking out of the left side of my belly and that baby pictures of me could easily be mistaken for her, is somethin' else.
So, 19 months later, as my daughter is becoming more of a "person", more of a "kid" and less of a "baby", I’m starting to miss the "babyness". I see pictures of infants and am starting to feel that baby fever I grew so accustomed to feeling before having her. My body is starting to feel "normal" and not like it's been run over by a truck. I feel more like a person, more a part of this world.
(Plus, in July, I'll be able to switch from HMO to PPO insurance = security. )
What I do know is that when I see her playing alone, it kind of breaks my heart that she doesn't have a little playmate. I know that as an only child myself, I would've killed to have a sibling...and still would! And that it would be very comforting to have someone to share the fears and concerns of my parents aging. To be honest, it was a bit lonely growing up and an only.
Another fear I have is that I won't love the second as much as I love her. I look at her and can't imagine it. I've heard this is common...so I don't feel TOO weird having that thought.
I know I'm all over the place and I'm scared to death of going through what we did with her in beginning while taking care of her as well. But come July, I think we're gonna go for it anyway.
But I have to ask: is it really true that the second time around is easier? That having a second makes life easier? And how is that possible?
5 comments:
I'm going to gently say 'not easier' but you will feel far more capable. Does that make sense?
There really is no "should" or "best time" - I had lots of anxiety and thinking and surveying but it made little difference. I felt ready when my son was a little over a year, and there we were. My kids are only 21 months apart (less than 2 years is NOT the same as 2 years...It's weird but true).
We can talk sometime - going to BlogHer??
That makes total sense. I was SO clueless before having her.
I'd love to talk sometime! And yes yes, I have decided to sign up for the Saturday conference...are you going to be there??! That would be SO cool!
Write me at restless@restlesshousewife.com and let me know! FUNNESS!
i dunno about easier... but it makes sense to me that having been through it before there's a little less stress attached to the whole thing... does that make sense?
only having damien of course, i wouldn't know.
i think its very exciting!!!
Hi, and no, you don't know me. Guess I found your blog through one of those on my blog roll, or maybe through the blog party a few weeks ago, I forget. I have 3 children, and they are all 4 years apart. I am here to tell you that at first it is really hard to have 2 kids. But then it gets easier because they tend to play together and keep each other company. And the older one will want to help out with entertaining of the younger. I remember when my second was born, I had a hard time keeping the first in tow. It seemed like my arms were constantly full and I had so much to do. Holding an infant and keeping up with a toddler was hard. But now that they are older (my youngest is about to turn 6), I wouldn't have done it any differently. Yes mine are spaced farther apart, but my sister and I are 18 months apart, and we had a blast growing up and we were very close. Do what's best for you, but spacing them out is not a bad thing either. I never had 2 in diapers or formula at the same time, and that made it a lot easier. So glad to get to know you! And BTW, the "tethers" are a great idea, especially if you have more than one. Don't let anyone else's judging keep you from keeping your child safe. Who cares what they think? Sorry for the long post.
Military Mom:
Thanks so much for the advice! I really appreciate the honesty re: how it isn't easier at 1st and understand why it would be easier later. Your input really makes sense.
And the support re: the "leash" which I'm now glad to learn your term "tether". It sounds so much better!
Thanks for stopping by and I'm now headed over to your blog:-)
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