This morning my husband and I were discussing the extremely sensitive, yet inevitable topic re: Christmas presents for each other this year. Let me preface this by the fact that this is merely our 3rd Christmas together as a couple, so we haven’t yet established the gift exchange “policies” I know other couples (the women) have cleverly formulated over years of frustration, guilt, hurt feelings, and wasted money.
There is a blinding difference between what men consider “good gifts” and what women wish their male counterparts would realize are good gifts based on the seemingly obvious hints we’ve dropped throughout the year.
Bless his heart, but OMG, after last year, I had to put a stop to the insanity –
How is it that between getting the iPod I hinted about daily, 2 months prior to Christmas, and our need for a new kitchen trash can, did he choose the latter?
I mean the trash can is great, and to be fair, it was one of many presents he gave me. I just chose to talk about that one for the sake of entertainment. But just a word of caution to the men out there, presents for you may equal solutions and products that YOU may think you’re female counterpart need, but presents to US equal a reflection of what you think of us, how you see the relationship, and how well you really know and listen to us. I’m not saying that my husband saw me as garbage and our marriage as “in the dumps” – although that would’ve made this entry much more interesting. I’m just saying that the trash can Christmas present was painfully domestic and reflected the face (literally – it’s stainless steel) of a former dream girl, present housewife. That’s a bit dramatic, but illustrates my point I think.
Even though I think I summed up the idea of what women wish for in a gift, I have realized that our men, even with the best of intentions…… just don’t get it. Like Dr. Phil says, you can’t put the dots close enough for them to connect. So, as unromantic and “unChristmasy” as it may be, I’ve decided to just tell him what I want up front.
In my quest for marital gift-exchange advice from friends and coworkers, it was comforting to find that others struggled with the same issue, and interesting to find out some of their solutions:
1. Make a list with primary, secondary and maybe even tertiary gift options.
2. Cold hard cash.
3. Getting something together that you both want.
4. Take each other shopping.
5. Make Wish lists on Amazon.com. and send them to each other.
Perhaps not the most spontaneous ideas, but you’ll get what you want!
If your husband still wants to go out on his own and surprise you, give him an allowance that’ll make him feel like the little Secret Santa he strives to be, while keeping him from breaking the bank on the $300 vacuum that’s just a reminder of not only the former dream girl/present housewife reflection, but how he didn’t get you the Dyson 1100 you had pitched to him a week ago, reminding you of how he wasn’t listening to you....again.
TOP TEN LIST
Worst presents from husbands and boyfriends/pseudo husbands:
10. Pimping out her car with tinted windows, base speakers, or those fluorescent lights that reflect blue light on to the street.
9. Electronics i.e. DVD player, all-in-one remote control (although very nice and thoughtful- not so romantic).
8. Anything from the $1 store.
7. Uncomfortable lingerie.
6. Cleaning devices.
5. A dog bed that came free with the beautiful new bed he purchased for his apartment she still doesn’t have the keys to.
4. Playboy’s “The Girls Next Door” Workout DVD.
3. Tools.
2. Those glowing flare stick things for when she needs to pull into the emergency lane.
1. Bar periphenalia from the night before.
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